Beauty in the Breakdown
In a room, all alone, she sits and wonders how she got to this point. Away from all that is familiar, stripped of all that is known and once thought to be needed, she lays down and closes her eyes. Those voices that steered her too far off course. The surrounding people that did not understand. Wanting to be heard but scared to yell. She had been bent so far that she broke. She broke down, and was now segregated and in a world surrounded by the unknown – no other words to describe what was going on except that she was in the process of a complete breakdown. Pushed to the limits, she comes to a realization. It is really okay to feel this way. It is okay to feel lost at times. It’s okay to ask for help. It’s okay to say no, it does not make a person less than a person. Basically people are just not okay all of the time, and even that is okay. Praying and lost in thought, she seeks and finds complete solace within herself. Stripped of all that she felt she had to have to survive, she finds herself in the darkness and somehow finding clarity and making sense
Does the above sound like a total breakdown? I do not think so.
I think we are all in different places on our journey. We all fight battles in different ways. Some of us need a time-out, others react in other ways – but the main thing is that no one is alone in this and that awareness will come to us at the right time and place. The main thing is to treat each other with respect and to just understand. Each person has a different perspective on Life and each person and their gorgeous uniqueness.
“I may have not gone where I intended to go, but I think I wound up where I needed to be.”– Douglas Adams
No one expects to wind up in the middle of a breakdown. But, Life can throw you curve balls and put you on a different course. That was me. I had a life planned out that I thought was going to work. I did everything I could, made some mistakes along the way, but overall felt great about the way I was living. Then I let someone in my head. I let this person tamper with my sense of reality. Instead of listening to what I knew to be true – my intuition, and my gut instinct, I chose to listen outside of me and it sent me over. Coming from a broken environment, it was my every intention to never live that way again. Somehow, it still caught up with me and I, as stated above – broke.
“Crazy is not about being broken or swallowing a dark secret. It’s you or me – amplified … Was I ever crazy? Maybe I was – or maybe I was just a girl, interrupted.” Susanna Kayson
The definition of the word ‘crazy’ is as follows: mad, insane, deranged, and demented.
Now, would you honestly use any of those words to describe someone you know or even yourself? I do not think so. Labeling one as ‘crazy’ does nothing good for them. It can hurt and make one feel isolated from the rest of the world because they are so ‘different’.
“Some people are beautiful. Not in looks. Not what they say. Just in what they are.” – Markus Zusak
On a road of recovering, I have been blessed beyond words by the gorgeous people I have been meeting. The kindred spirits I have met have been very inspiring and have all helped me move forward in some way. Even if it seemed like what was going on at the time was not the best thing to go through, it still led to pure beauty. Life as I am living it is so very exhilarating. Part of the beauty I see in others, and what I see in me, is due to the happiness on their face, the love in their heart and the feelings in their head.
“Leave your things behind, because it’s all going off without you.”–Imogen Heap
Want to know a pretty awesome secret for utter bliss? Do not carry your baggage with you every single place you go. Just like you place a book down after it has been read, and it is likely not to be picked up again, why would you keep dragging things around?
At any point the details of your life can be changed. There is a reason you are here and there is a gorgeousness about you because you have made it through a dark time and come out ahead. Do not let things happen to you. Change your mindset to think that Life is happening for you. The elegance of your uniqueness is an elegance this world needs.
“You can’t take anything for granted for a second otherwise you trip up. More than anything, I believe life is all about timing. I know certainly every situation in my life has been like “why now?” and it’s a test or a beautiful moment. That’s why life is so gorgeous.” — Lena Headey
Something is to be said about the ones that have overcome adversity and hardship. We all have a journey in this world and each one of us has our own signature styles. The absolute artistry Life creates with each and every one of us is exquisite. Things would not be the same without you in this world.
We all are connected. We all make a difference. We all matter. We are all worthy. And we are all enough. That is such a beautiful realization to come to.
There is pure beauty in Life and its plans for us all. We are doing the best we can, with what we have and what we know in the here and now. Your struggles, your triumphs, sad, mad and glad moments – they are all unique to each person and the more we respect each other, the better we all will be – no one does it alone.
“Someone gave me a box of darkness. It took me years to understand that this, too, was a gift.” – OSHO
we are ALL worth catching
*images used with permission through Pixabay and no infringement is intended*